


Beaten

by Lust_And_Stardust



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Episode: s10e22 The Prisoner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-13 00:45:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5688094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lust_And_Stardust/pseuds/Lust_And_Stardust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam finds Castiel after the fight with Dean, and they help one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beaten

Of all the things that has happened to Castiel - and some terrible things have: he has fallen from Heaven, been exploded, been brainwashed, been turned human and killed - and more - but this, this day is the worst, this despair will never leave him. Dean leaves him so beaten and dispirited that he just lies there, unmoving, in the wreckage of the bunker.

He's failed. He'd thought - well, angels can be wrong. It happens all the time. He'd thought Dean returned, at least in part, some of his feelings. He'd thought that Dean would hear him, that he would stop. But he only cared enough to stop short of the killing blow. And he called that " _missing._ " Cas lies bleeding. Even though he can heal himself, he doesn't even care, he has failed the one quest he ever set for himself.

Sam returns in a rush. "DEAN!?!" His heart races to see the door broken open and there are the unmistakable smells of gasoline, gunpowder and BLOOD. "DEAN!!" He rushes down the stairs, nearly vaulting them three at a time, skidding to a stop at the entrance of the main room, the sharp smell of blood assaulting him over the others. His eyes take in the dead bodies, strewn like so much garbage amongst the wreckage of their library shelves.

A soft moan jerks his attention to the right. "CAS!" Sam goes skidding to his knees next to him, hands hovering, afraid to touch the broken being. Dean had to have done this, Cas' own angel blade is beside him in a book. "Cas??" reaching down to touch, to gently touch the stubbled cheek with his fingertips.

The angel opens his eyes, slowly. "Sam...?" It all rushes back over him, everything that happened. Every punch that landed on him, every time Dean slammed his head into the table. He gasps, and there are tears stinging his face. "I failed. Dean... he..."

"Shhh shhhh... Just... let's get you cleaned up first, okay? We'll worry about Dean in a little while." Very carefully helping Cas to sit up, "Anything feel broken or ruptured?" Sam knows how much Cas loves his brother, probably as much as he does, and Dean did _this_ to him. Cas _allowed_ Dean to do this to him because he couldn't hurt him in return.

"There's... no need for this. I can heal..." But slowly, because of the despair. Cas feels stunned, his thoughts are disordered. He clings to Sam despite his words.

Sam says softly, "I'm wondering why you haven't, yet." He helps Cas get to his feet and leads him down to his room, "Here... let's get you out of these, I'll clean them up for you," getting him down to his boxers and undershirt while he sits on his bed. "Now... let me take care of you." Bruises and abrasions litter the angel’s torso, his face is the worst of it, Sam’s heart hurts just to look at him.  He has to stay calm, to keep serenity around him while he tends to Cas, though he’d really like to have a _word_ with his brother about this.

"I _am_ healing. Just... slowly. Still - still much faster than human..." Sam is taking care of him so matter-of-factly, the way Sam would take care of Dean, if Dean would let anyone care for him now. His face crumples. "I feel so powerless." And the tears really sting the cuts on his face Dean's ring made. They'll probably be the last to heal.

Sam is beside him and pulling Cas into his arms, rubbing his back, "Shhh shhh, it's gonna be okay. We're gonna figure it out."

Sam is only a human being, a fragile short-lived human being, but he holds Castiel with such gentle strength that the angel feels humbled. He huddles into Sam's embrace, at first crying with distress, but soon quieting to the calm rhythm of Sam's heart. "Thank you." His voice is muffled against Sam's chest.

Pressing a kiss to the top of Cas' head, "Let me get you cleaned up, and into something warmer." Like his own bed and his arms. He's had a thing for Cas since meeting the angel, but Cas was only ever into Dean. Well, Sam can take care of him anyway, Cas is his friend. Gently disentangling to get the first aid kit from his bedside table, he is soon gently dabbing antiseptic and then healing ointment to all the open cuts on Cas' face.

"You're a good man, Sam," he says solemnly, even while flinching from some of his ministrations. "You are kind." Through Sam's touch he can sense care and worry, fondness, even... a hint of longing. He had not expected that.

Sam smiles softly at him, "Yeah... I try. I go way off the reservation sometimes, but you and Dean have both brought me back." Giving Cas' hand a gentle squeeze, "We're gonna save him." Trying to put all the conviction he can into those words, Dean is his brother, he’ll do anything to get him back.

Cas blinks at him, then looks down at Sam's big hand enfolding his. Again, the double image of the fragile human simultaneously so strong. "I believed that until today. I believed I could reach him."

Squeezing a bit tight, "He's not a demon, yet. We have time." Sam blushes that he was a bit more forceful than he meant and gently pats Cas' hand in way of apology. Done with cleaning him up, he gets out one of his T-shirts and a hoodie. "Here... um... give me your T-shirt and put these on. We'll wash everything." He then turns his back to find a set of his own boxers and some sweats for Cas to wear.

Cas obediently strips out of his T-shirt, though it causes pain to pull it off. Broken bones are mostly mended, but some ligaments were affected. He usually doesn't pay this much attention to the process. He puts a fresh shirt on; he's not sure about the logistics of the hooded garment.

Sam turns around at the audible hiss of pain, "Cas??" He helps him to finish pulling on the T-shirt. "You okay?"

He casts his eyes down. "I am healing slowly because I feel responsible. I deserve to hurt more than I do. I almost wish you were not so caring." Cas is _heartbroken_ , is what he is, but he doesn't know to call it that.

Sitting down again, "Cas... " Stroking his hand through that soft, dark hair, "Can you heal yourself faster? Please do, you don't have to physically hurt, we're both hurting enough in our hearts."

It occurs to Castiel for the first time that the sight of him so beaten might be painful _to Sam._ He nods, just a little so as not to dislodge Sam's hand, closes his eyes and lets himself heal. Physically. He can't do anything about the powerless, responsible, heartbroken feelings, even on request.

Feeling the energy thrum through Cas, Sam sags in relief, "There... we can at least wallow together in good health now. When we figure this out, there won't be time to waste with one of us injured." Placing another kiss on his head before standing up and helping Cas to his feet. "Okay... um... why don't you change into these, " offering out the boxers, "And I'll help with the sweatpants."

"All right," and Cas takes off the boxers he's wearing before taking the ones Sam has.

Sam snaps his eyes shut, as much as he wants to look. "Um... let me know when you're in those."

It doesn't take long. Castiel understands how boxers work. He pulls them up and says, "All right, I'm in them." Tilting his head, "Oh. Was that awkward? You told me to change."

A bright smile lights Sam's face, "Yes, but no. I was just trying to give you privacy." He drops to his knees and holds open the sweatpants, "Okay, step in, I'll roll up the legs and pin them so you won't trip."

Cas steps in carefully. "You are very tall," he says, then winces. "That is unnecessarily obvious." Blinking, "These are soft. It's - comfortable."

Sam ties them at the waist, at least Cas isn't much smaller in the waist than he is, nearly the same size. "Yes, I am VERY tall. I wasn't always, Dean used to do this for me when we were younger. I would get all his hand-me-downs."

"The day it became apparent that you were taller must have been one of 'epic' sulking from Dean." Cas can imagine it. He puts his hand on Sam's arm. "Thank you."

Sam grins at him, "Yeah, it was definitely a sulk. I didn't catch up to him until I was almost sixteen, then by eighteen I was taller, stalled out until about twenty-one, then I became Gigantor." It’s pleasant to share such a memory with Cas, a way of welcoming him into the family.

"People are always calling you names of that sort," Cas says. He finally understands the cartoon reference of what Crowley likes to call them, but even without knowing about the stupidity of the character in question, 'moose' never seemed like a compliment. "The rudest of them are envious." Crowley, definitely. But he is also jealous of Dean's regard for Sam.

Sam stands up. "Dean called me names long before anyone else." He opens up the hoodie and slips one of Cas' arms into it, then the other, pulling it closed in front and doing up the zipper a bit, "Warm enough?"

"Yes, I believe so," looking down at himself in the unaccustomed garment. Jimmy Novak's suit and coat have almost seemed like part of his body to Castiel. But they're only props really.

Sam finds some slippers for him from his closet and slips his feet into them, "The floors get cold around here." And then there's the blood and gasoline. His face turns ashen, "Maybe... you should stay in here for a bit, while I... clean up."

Cas blinks at Sam's sudden change of color. "Surely I could be of help." He's healed now. It would be better to be of assistance than so completely useless.

"It's... gonna be messy. Do you know of a way to get gasoline out of books?" The thought of all that knowledge destroyed still makes him sick in his stomach, knowledge was precious.

It's not a question anyone has ever asked him before. But Cas knows what Sam is talking about, he was thrown - by Dean - into that pile the Stynes had made before they died. He frowns, thinking it over. "I may be able to disperse the unwanted molecules from the books."

Sam's face brightens a little. "That would be great. Some are really old, and might be destroyed otherwise. I'll... take care of the bodies."

"I can help you with those, too, Sam." He touches Sam's arm. "You don't have to do these things alone."

Sam shakes his head, "I'll take care of them, I'll need to dig a little pit and burn them."

They go out to these grim tasks. Sam hauls the bodies out, and Cas uses his power to separate the molecules of accelerant from the molecules of the books - and the photographs, and some of Dean's other things. The books will still need to be put away and sorted, but after some work they have been preserved from immediate damage.

Sam is dirty and sweaty by the time the pyre is burning with the three dead bodies of the Stynes who invaded his home. "Cas... are you hungry? I know you don't eat, I guess, anymore, but you want a beer or foot rub, anything?"

"A... foot rub?" That's an unexpected item in Sam's list. Cas doesn't know what that is or what it's for. He likes beer well enough, though it doesn't get him drunk in the slightest.

"Come on, share a beer with me while I eat something, we'll need to shower after that. We stink like gasoline and smoke."

"Yes, we do." They go to the kitchen and Cas sits down with a beer, watching Sam prepare food. He'll drink to be companionable, but eating is a waste of time as an angel. And resources.

Sam wolfs down his sandwich and a beer, putting the plate in the sink, passing by Cas and plucking at his shoulder. "Come on. Shower time."

Cas gets up and goes with Sam. He wonders which of them will go first, but is content for Sam to lead. Dispersing the gasoline had ended up sort of misting him all over with the smell. It is unpleasant. And Sam does smell like smoke, though also like sweat, which is not unpleasant, depending on context. Sam's own personal smell is very good - like Dean's, they smell more alike than they look - but unique to himself.

Sam stops in his room and strips down this boxer-briefs. "The shower is big enough for both of us, if you want me to help wash your back." In a totaly platonic non creepy kind of way. Just the thought of seeing Castiel naked is enough to get his blood moving in certain places.

This is unexpected. Cas blinks. "I've never had anyone help wash my back. I think I can reach it." He doesn't normally need to wash at all. "But if you wish, I could help you wash _your_ back." Sam's back is rather larger, and would take more time to wash.

Sam gives him a shy smile. "I'll start the shower." Dropping his underpants he pads nude into the bathroom, his heart trying to pound its way out of his chest.

Cas looks down at himself and then takes off all the things Sam helped him put on. The sight of Sam's body just now shouldn't have been a surprise, in context, yet it was. Or maybe the surprising part was its effect on him, seeing and observing Sam's objectively magnificent body, as well as the blush on his face. Naked, Cas follows Sam into the bathroom.

The shower is running. Sam holds his fingers under the spray to check the temperature. He steps in, leaving the glass door open for Cas to follow.

Cas follows him in, then at a look from Sam, closes the glass door behind him. It is a spacious shower. "I... have not done this with another person before. Please correct me if I violate etiquette in any way." Sam is patient and has helped him more than once in understanding, for example, things not to say to people because it makes them uncomfortable.

"I don't think we'll have anything to worry about." Sam puts his large hands on smaller shoulders and guides Cas under the water to get wet. "Do you miss... being human, at all?" Tipping Cas' chin up with a gentle touch of his finger, he uses his hands to work the water into his hair.

"I... Yes. Sometimes. At various moments." Sam's hands are warm and gentle and they feel even better than warm and gentle already should. Cas closes his eyes, to better savor the sensation of the fingers in his hair. "There were plenty of things I don't miss, but there were little things that were - surprisingly good."

"Ice cream and hot fudge... pizza..." Sam adds shampoo to the motions and lathers up Cas' soft hair. He takes the opportunity to stare openly at his face, it's beautiful.

"Mmmmm." This is in response to his hair being washed, which is splendid. "Those things, yes. Also the comfort of lying down to sleep after a day of hard work. I enjoyed that."

"You don't sleep?" Sam asks softly, to not be able to shut off even for just a few blissfull hours of unconciousness seems horrible.

"No, not now." When he was living on stolen, fading grace he'd slept sometimes, but it was more like fainting from illness.

"Can you not, or you just don't need to?" Sam tips Cas' head back to work the suds out of his hair, careful not to get his face wet.

"Cannot. I can close my eyes, I can rest, but not sleep, or dream. It is very different." Cas sighs and opens his eyes a little. "That feels good. My hair."

Voice warmer with intent than he means it to be, "And that's just the start." Sam gets the conditioner he usually uses and works it into Cas' thick, dark hair. "I'm sorry you can't sleep."

"I also liked salty snacks." Cas closes his eyes again in pleasure.

Sam leaves the conditioner in place, then turns Castiel around so his back is toward him, soaping up his hands he starts lathering his skin, then kneading into the muscles. "Mmm. Chips and a beer." The angel’s body is firmly muscled, the skin surprisingly soft and supple, and he’s very well put together.

"May I do all this for you, when you're done?" Sighing in bliss at the kneading. "It feels wonderful."

"I won't say no," working over his shoulders and down each arm before returning to his back, glad Cas can’t see him at just this moment as his cock is rising to attention.

"I'm glad." Castiel is aware that this, what they're doing, is much more intimate than what friends - which is what he would have said they were - would normally do. But he doesn't know what that means exactly.

Sam keeps filling his hands with the liquid soap and massaging/cleaning his way down Cas' body, down each leg, getting him to lift a foot where he rubs lightly at the sole. Staying down on one knee, he nudges Cas to turn around where he soaps his way down from hip, thigh to ankle. He can’t help but look at what is right infront of his face, swallowing to clear his suddenly watering mouth. Standing, he does his chest down to his lower abs. He's blushing by now. "Do you want me to keep going?" He hasn't done Cas' groin or his backside yet, afraid to touch with out permission because he might not stop.

"I think I will offend you if you do." His gaze is cast down. "This - is - " Cas is blushing, painfully hot. "Arousing. I'm sorry."

"I'll only be offended if you don't do something you want to do." Sam dips his head down, his face so close he could kiss him. "Is it something you want me to do?"

Sam has obliged him to look him in the eye, and Cas gulps slightly as he does so. "Yes, it is." His gaze drops to Sam's mouth.

Sam's lips gently caress his for an endless moment before he pulls back enough to meet his eyes again. "This is... all right?"

"Yes," nodding a little, it's impossible not to look at Sam's mouth, "may I," and he has to go up on tiptoes a little, to return the kiss. The way he knows how to do it isn't as gentle, though it's not full strength either. He's learning. Sam is a more subtle and emotional person than Castiel has kissed or been kissed by before.

Slipping his arms around him, Sam bends his knees at the same time that he hauls Cas in closer to allow a much deeper kiss.

Cas puts his hands on Sam's shoulders. They are _kissing_ , he _and Sam are kissing_ , naked together in the shower. How did this happen? It is wonderful. Also extremely arousing.

Sam rubs his hands up and down Cas' back, the back of his mind wondering what the landscape of his back would feel like with a set of wings. He hopes he remembers to tell Cas he tastes like honey, rich and slightly sweet. It's addicting.

The angel's senses are disordered by Sam's kisses. Unlike need for food or sleep, sex does affect him in this human vessel that he no longer shares with its original owner. The emotional component is especially powerful. "May I wash you, Sam," he asks solemnly, "I would very much like to touch you. Everywhere."

"Want me to finish yours first?" He's half hard himself now, blood pumping through his body. Cas WANTS to touch him. Inside he's five years old again, getting a used bicycle and loving every minute of zipping around on it.

"Oh," Cas is a little flustered. "I didn't mean to interrupt you." Part of his brain not working properly is because he's aroused, and the thought of Sam touching him there now makes him shiver all over.

"You didn't... I... it was the point of no return, so to speak." Sam lathers his hands and slides them down Cas' firm backside, cupping and kneading those firm cheeks slowly. Oh this is bliss.

"Sam." His palms are on Sam's chest - not pushing, but helping to brace him there, to stay on his feet as Sam's big, warm hands touch him intimately. Lips parted, Cas breathes shallowly as he looks up at Sam's handsome face. Point of no return. That's apt. It's true. No matter what else happens their relationship is different now.

Sam dips his head to press his lips to Cas', murmuring his full name as his hands slip between his cheeks, touching intimately.

"Ohh," Cas moans, right into Sam's mouth, the sensation shockingly pleasurable from an unexpected part of his body. He arches back into that touch, hardly realizing he's doing it. "Oh, Sam - that - that - " he can't seem to finish a simple sentence.

Still speaking softly against his lips, Sam murmurs, "Only gets better." He leaves Cas' bottom alone, trailing soapy hands over his hips to dip down and, ever so gently, caress the length of him, under his balls and between his legs.

Now his hands are clutching at Sam's shoulders, desperate. "oh God - " Angels aren't supposed to swear, but sometimes there is nothing else one can say. "Sam," pleading, looking up into his eyes, his own eyes wide, mouth too.

Sam nips Castiel’s lush bottom lip. "What baby, tell me what you need," closing his fingers around a rather firm erection and stroking with a bit more force.

"Ah!" His fingers clench tight on Sam's shoulders. "Yes! Touch - like that - Sam yes - " His voice is a pleading mess of words, "oh God your hands, please - " His whole body is trembling, he's going to climax, he's going to RIGHT NOW. "Sam!!"

A hot splash of liquid follows the shout of his name, and Sam's suddenly having to wrap both arms around a shaking angel to hold him up. It's rather an ego boost too, to have this celestial being fall apart in his arms.

Castiel is fortunate that Sam is ready and able to hold him on his feet. He loses all sense of his body for a moment, awash in pleasure that is as powerful in its own way as grace. Sam's strong arms have him completely safe. He's never felt this way in his whole long life. He catches his breath as the wave recedes. His ear is against Sam's chest, listening to the strong steady heartbeat.

Sam gathers Cas close to him, stroking his back and kissing his forehead. "Hey ... you okay?"

Cas lifts his head for a kiss on the mouth. "Yes. I am - Moved. That was intensely pleasurable." Shyly, "Thank you." He is returning to the moment, and realizing that Sam has not received any attention.

Smiling widely, dimples showing, eyes bright, Sam says, "I'm glad you enjoyed it. Think you can stand? I need to rinse your hair." And he needs to take his own fast shower, because he wants his hands all over Castiel again.

"Yes, I can now," still slightly shaky, but in control of his limbs at least. The smile Sam gives Cas is as good as a kiss.

Sam is quick as he can be to get the conditioner out of his hair, then ducks down for another deep long kiss, tongue plundering to gather that sweet honey taste.

Castiel finds he has his arms around Sam's neck and is up on his toes again. Usually he is more aware of his actions, but things are different with Sam. "Shall I wash you now?"

Sam trembles in desire, "Please. I'll even kneel down to make it easier." He wants this so much, has dreamt about it, has selfishly yearned for it.

Cas looks for and finds the soap Sam has been using. He works it to suds in his hands and then - touches Sam - the way Sam touched him, washing and exploring. Sam on his knees is still surprisingly tall. But it is easier to reach most of him. And it is such a pleasure to touch him, and to see him react to the touch. "You are very beautiful," Cas says solemnly, almost distractedly, his eyes on Sam's body. "I like touching you."

Leaning forward when Cas digs at his shoulders, Sam presses soft kisses to his torso. "Wanted to touch you since we met." It's been several long years since then, but his desire for Castiel has only grown in intensity. The angel had reaffirmed his beliefs and at the same time was such a glorious being in his own right, he’d stirred Sam’s soul in a way no man ever had.

"I - didn't know." He had been yearning after Dean and had not seen Sam truly. His hands move worshipfully over what he can reach of Sam's big, powerful body. "I'll need you to stand, so I can reach the rest."

Slowly gaining his feet, Sam keeps as much in contact with Castiel as he can. "You didn't like me at first. The demon blood, I guess." And that had _hurt_ , having an angel not like you. The very thing you’d prayed for since you could form words and make sentences was repelled by him. It had knocked the breath from him, sending him down into such dark despair.

"It was Uriel who disliked you," Cas says softly. "But I should have spoken up for you more. I am sorry." He is still washing Sam - he sinks gracefully to his knees while talking, soapy hands caressing Sam's thighs.

Unable to help himself, Sam says what he needs to, and it's like lancing an infected wound to let it heal. "I've prayed every day since I could speak the prayers. Dean would tell me angels were watching over me, like mom told him when he was little. The only good thing to come out of learning that the monsters were real, was that I felt angels and God had to be real too." He can't help the tears in his eyes, "It hurt so bad that you ignored me, that I wasn't good enough like Dean to gain your notice. Or any angel's. _I believed,_ and Dean _didn't_." His voice is raw and there are tears in his eyes at the end, but he feels better for having said it to the one being who can now understand.

Castiel catches his breath, then stands up even though he isn't finished. His hands come to rest on Sam's hips as he looks up. He can't pretend to speak for any other angels, but he can speak for himself. "I was wrong, Sam. I am so sorry. I was given a task - but - but my vision was too narrow. You have done so much for the earth and for Heaven and no one has thanked you. Thank you, Sam. For your true heart, and your bravery, and all you've suffered."

Sam wraps around him, tucking his head down as much as he can. "I don't mean to whine... I just... I feel better now, having let it out." Kissing the top of Cas' wet head, "I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I promise."

"That was not whining. I don't feel bad - in fact if you feel better, I do too." The angel snuggles against him for a moment. "May I resume what I was doing? I thought you should see my face while I said that, but I wasn't finished washing you."

Sam chuckles softly, "I've got a better idea," dipping his head down - and most of his body - and kissing him. "Why don't you get out and dry off, I'll follow you and meet you under the covers of the bed?"

"All right," solemnly, though the thought of being in Sam's bed, naked, waiting for Sam, has his heart beating very fast. Cas rinses  off what little soap and conditioner is still on him and gets out, dries off, and goes into Sam's room. Sam's room is very neat, and the sheets smell clean when he gets between them.

Sam hurries with the rest of his shower, drying off and wrapping a towel around his head to walk out naked into the bedroom. Cas is under the covers, pulled up to his chin like a scared rabbit, and Sam is going to play the big bad wolf for all he's worth. Slipping into the bed and chucking the hair towel off to the side, he asks, "Have you ever made love?"

"I don't think so," Cas says, then realizes that's an insufficient answer. "I have had sex twice. With a woman. Who then killed me."

Sam pales a little, "Yes... I think I remember that." He leans in closer, resting a hand on Cas' chest. "Let me educate you then." Sam drops down to slide one arm under his shoulders, the other sliding up to cup Castiel's cheek before he kisses his mouth gently. He takes the time to trace the outline of his lips, nibbling on the thinner upper lip before teasingly dragging his teeth over Cas' fuller lower lip.

They have already done a good bit of kissing in the shower, but Cas is happy to have Sam educate him in subtleties. He understands that 'making love' is similar to, but distinct from 'having sex' but isn't certain how exactly. Sam brought him to a delicious climax before in the shower. Was that having sex or making love?

Before allowing himself to deepen the kiss, Sam brushes butterfly-soft kisses over Cas' face, eyelids, nose, forehead, cheeks. Sam planned on driving Castiel wild with need, to show him worship and devotion with his kisses and touches.

Castiel is caught between trying to hold still, so that Sam will continue, and leaning forward in a greedy instinct to seek more. The warmth of Sam's mouth is gentle on his face. He puts his hand on Sam's shoulder, just so he can be touching.

Sam works his way down Castiel's throat, over his collarbones and down to his nipples. He teases them with lips and tongue, even a little bit of teeth on the sensitive flesh. "Castiel... " murmuring his name between kisses.

 _"Sssam!"_ Trembling fingers lace into Sam's soft dark hair, which is still damp but drying quickly in the warm air of the bedroom. Cas is a little shocked by the intensity of pleasure from such an area. He's hard again, as hard as though they hadn't done anything, and Sam is doing some kind of magic that can make even angels helpless.

Sam continues with his gentle loving. "So beautiful... " He kisses lower, hands moving in large, sure strokes over arms and chest. Turning his head to nuzzle at his under arms, taking in his clean scent. The body under him is trim and well made, he’s free of the scars like Sam and Dean have on their own bodies.

Cas already healed himself physically from being beaten by Dean, but Sam is healing him with relentless pleasure, and Castiel is trembling, panting. Those big, powerful hands are so gentle. He's never felt so fully connected to this human vessel before now - what Sam is doing is felt by angelic senses as well as human. It's not magic but it works on him like magic.

Sam shifts to his side, kissing over Castiel's hip as he strokes down his legs, letting the soft hair tickle his palms. He leans in to lightly breathe over the straining flesh of his erection, "I could touch you for days."

"I - think - " Cas' voice is coming out very strangely, as though his throat is inspecting each word before letting it out, "my - vessel - couldn't - withstand that."

Carefully moving in, Sam nuzzles at the soft, black hair at the base of the turgid flesh, fingers sliding down under tight balls to quest toward his most intimate of areas. "We could try."

"SamIwillsayyestoanythingyouwant," comes out in a rush. "Ohh," Sam touches again in a place Cas didn't expect - he did briefly in the shower and the pleasure had been most unexpected. "Why does that even feel good, it doesn't make sense." It's not a complaint, he's just overwhelmed.

Sam grins at him, sitting up and coaxing Cas to roll over, pulling a pillow down and putting it under his hips. He leans over Cas and starts by kissing at his shoulders, then teasingly biting at the back of his neck. "I'm going to make you wrecked for anyone else," stroking down his back, fingers digging in and kneading at the tight muscles. This body was glorious, the sounds he dragged from Castiel inflames him to want to do his best to drag out every ounce of pleasure.

Castiel thinks, _I already am,_ but out loud he just moans. Sam's hands are using strength now, but not destructively. They are pushing and sculpting pleasure from his flesh. The position of his hips is comfortable, but also suggestive, exciting. He feels like he's been laid out on a plate.

Taking his time to work down Cas' back, Sam slips past his hips to knead his thighs and stroke firmly down his calves. Now for the real fun, he grabs two handfuls of very firm glutes and kneads, pulling them apart so he can peer between them.

Cas trembles, unable to see Sam's face, unsure at all if Sam likes what he sees, though his touch doesn't falter at all. He doesn't know what Sam intends to do. He is... vaguely... aware of things Sam _might_ do, but the truth is that because of Dean, the angel had chosen not to torment himself seeking out knowledge that would only make him long for the impossible. His human vessel had been willfully ignorant of such things too, because of his religion, perhaps the habit was ingrained. "Sam," he whispers.

Briefly letting go of him to settle down between his legs, Sam slides his arms under and around Cas' legs to place his hands on those wonderful ass cheeks again. He spreads them apart and lightly puffs a breath of warm air across that most hidden of places. He can feel Cas jump under him, so he goes for it and laps his tongue across the tight pucker of flesh.

 _"Oh!"_ Cas' head pops up, then buries itself in his folded arms, "Oh... Sam - Are you licking me _there_ , oh - " It's a ridiculous question, of course he is. His whole body is trembling, flowing, clenching, it can't decide, it's so confused by the pleasure Sam is wreaking upon it. The shadow of his wings is being thrown on the wall - he has no idea.

Sam doesn't notice right then either, very intent on working him open with his thumbs to get Cas open enough to wiggle his tongue deep inside him.

Sam's tongue enters his body and Cas cries out in bliss. Sam is _penetrating_ him - in a way he didn't know could be done - the flesh there is soft and sensitive and vibrating with pleasure. He's not climaxing, not quite, but there is fluid dripping from his cock, dripping and wetting the pillow propping him up. He's not sure that's supposed to happen, but he can't seem to help it.

Sam loves him with his mouth until his jaw aches, then he uses his fingers: stroking them in and out, carefully and slowly widening Cas, nudging his prostate a few times, but not enough to send him over. He's curled on his side, kissing shoulders and back, "So beautiful how you give it all up for me."

Cas tries to reply - _something_ \- to this, but he's past words. Just sounds come out. It's not even Enochian, just nonsense. There must be words. English words. The two most important possible words. "Sam," he groans. "Please."

Taking pity on the angel, and his own state of need, Sam pulls his fingers free and eases Cas back over on his back. Grabbing the tube of lube from his bedside table and slicking himself up generously, he kneels between the angel's legs. Sam guides Cas' legs around his hips before lining himself up and easing in. Saying and praying his name at the same time, "Castiel."

Castiel exhales, his mouth open, his eyes half shut, staring up at Sam with an expression of ecstasy. Sam's flesh is hot inside him, and all the pleasure he gave before makes this easy now. "Samuel." It is a time for his full name, even if he can only manage to whisper. "Lover." He understands now, Sam is making him understand 'making love.' By loving.

Sam's not going to last long, but he's pretty sure Cas won't either. Angling just so to hit his prostate on every stroke in and out, he starts with a slow rhythm and finally just has to take him deep and hard as his own body gives way, losing the restraint he's held in all this time.

When he feels Sam give in to the true rhythm of his pleasure, Cas lets himself go with it, desperately clutching Sam's shoulders, legs shaking, wings trembling, and there's a light around his head. Pearly fluid spatters on his belly and chest as he writhes.

Sam lifts his head up at the soft glow he can't place, only to see Cas' halo and looking to each side to see the shadow of his wings. "Cas?!" Looking down into his face, seeing the bright blue of his angel powers in his eyes, Sam closes his own and kisses him, his body on the autopilot of his orgasm.

The light fades back down as Castiel returns Sam's kiss, wrapping his invisible wings around Sam's back as Sam shudders and spends inside him. It is perfection.

Sam finally swims back up to consciousness. "Castiel?" He lifts his head to look him in the eyes, they're just their normal intense blue, but he won't ever forget the sheer beauty of Castiel in that moment, nor the texture of his wings across the breadth of his back.

Castiel gives him a sleepy smile and kisses his mouth softly. "Sam." Cas' angelic properties are all hidden once more. Now he is a sleepy, satisfied man in bed with his lover. But his wings will remember the feel of wrapping around Sam's back forever.

Sam kisses him again before slipping away and coming back with a warm wet cloth to clean Cas up with. Once they're tidy he slips into bed beside him and pulls Castiel over his body, holding him close. "Love you, Castiel." He hopes it's not wrong to love an angel, but as they've killed monsters, demons, angels and gods - he's not quite sure what is wrong anymore.

"I love you, too, Sam." Cas rubs his cheek against Sam's chest like a cat. "Thank you for teaching me. I - knew love was important." It was the subject of almost the entirety of the stories Metatron pushed into his mind. "Until today I didn't know what it felt like." He had strong feelings for Dean, but they were different from this, he sees that now. He'd been sent to Dean, assigned to save Dean. But Sam, he loves by choice. Sam, who prayed to angels, who has been willingly and unwillingly possessed by angels, can still see Castiel as a person, and find him worthy of love.

One large hand cups the back of his head, fingers sliding into his downy-soft hair. "Thank you for letting me." It feels a little silly to say, but Castiel did allow Sam this moment in time.

After a little while, Cas lets out a sigh. "I... want to stay like this for hours. Days. But we must still help Dean. Can we... do this again, later? Please?"

Sam smiles fit to dim the sun. "Anytime you want." Every time he wants.


End file.
